When There's So Much Light, Why Do I Feel So Dark?

The sunlight outside is so pure. Acoustic guitar echoing in my ears and filling the darkest crevices of my mind with that bittersweet tune that I can't get out of my head and my mind is heavy and my thoughts are thick and slow in coming. So much is happening in such a short space of time, is this what the rest of the world sees every day? Is my life just particularly slow and is now catching up to normal speed?

You ask me to just be friends. Step back, stop pushing, be a friend Alisa can you just be a friend and let nothing change? I stammer, I stammer because I'm backed up against a wall and the only other place I can see that I can move that isn't through you is off the edge of the building, the cars are like toys, the entire world is like a playset beneath us; people with plastic faces and plastic smiles and plastic cars and plastic homes and I can't help it, I look back at you, you and your candied apple eyes and sugary sweet lips and I plead with my eyes. We're so far up, and you keep apologizing and all I want to ask is, if no one can see, and if it wasn't infidelity last night, why can't we try it again? I want to step forward, close enough to reach out and touch you, another step and I'm close enough where I can see the ring around your iris and one more step and I'm looking down at you, our height difference suddenly apparant and I want to look at you and say tell me, tell me why? I want to reach up and touch your cheek, the fingertips just barely grazing you skin fuzz and look at your with my eyes so filled with sadness and gasoline that it's leaking out my eyes and your lips are my matches and I want to whisper to you in that husky voice I get when I cry and say why? Why do I have to leave? If this is what you want and I'm willing to give it to you, willing to give it all to you, then tell me, why? Why can't we have this?

I want to lean in, the electricity between us packed so tightly it becomes physically difficult to get closer to you, and I say, tell me no, and my lips brush against your's as I whisper it and in that moment it's a spark that arcs along the electricity and plummets over the edge like a burning peice of paper fluttering in the wind like a wounded bird to the plastic world below and neither of us notice it and I whisper again, tell me no. And our lips touch and suddenly there is passion as you wrap your arms around my neck and I pull you closer to me trying to freeze in my mind what your lips taste like because I know this is it, this will never happen again because this is it, truly the final time. Miles below the spark lands on the hand of a plastic woman, thin and perfect and it begins to burn, it ignites and like a slow burning candle climbs up her wrist and across her forearm and her perfect psuedo tan begins to crack and melt and drip on the ground as it crawls across her elbow up her bicep and from her neck it jumps to another man and where she drips on the sidewalk the sidewalk begins to melt and suddenly it catches fire, the whole world catches fire beneath us and there is a glow we'll never be able to express or capture in anything but pure emotions as we are silhouetted in the mounting flames and it's like the universe feels our passion...

Kiss me or tell me why. Because if you're right, if we're just going to friends, it has to be permanent and it's going to take me disappearing for a little while to make that possible, and these feelings, I'll drag them out back and I'll bury them so far into the earth that six feet under will seem like fresh air to them. Tell me, do you want that?

Tell me what you want?