When There's So Much Light, Why Do I Feel So Dark?

I just got back from the Timp Story Telling Festival... Strangest thing happened... My mother was talking with one of the proffesionals there... and I was talking with Clint. We were reminiscing of the biff it team... About all the times we've nearly broken all of our limbs being stupid... just for the sake of being stupid. We stopped, seemingly ready to move on when the guy my mom was talking to clapped my shoulder and said, "Bravo m'gel! I hope to hear from you, for you seem to be quite the promising little investment!"

I paused, trying to process it and he walked away. Apparently, my mother was telling him all about me, and he walked over to listen... He gave my mom the number to call for me to try out...

Sorry for not updating sooner... it seems to me like no one even reads this though. Ah well... besides, I just... I haven't been having the greatest time at school...

I just... I feel so... out of place. Like I don't belong here anymore... My purpose here was served I can move on now. However... I have my mother to thank as my anchor. *growls* I hate it... every day I stay here my place in Oregon, the place I feel I am -supposed- to be, is slowly disappearing... which then means I have no place, existing in a limbo like state. Like a place between existing and not existing... It's painful, watching everyone else having relationships, if not romantically, just socially... and yet there I am, just another gaunt shadow looking over everything and darkening everyone's day...

I suppose just crawling into a hole of technology and work will let people just blow me off as a computer geek. I'd be just fine with that... It's painful, being an outcast even amongst the outcasts...

*sighs* It would be easier if any of my classes were actually challenging... but no. They aren't. So I'm stuck graduating as a junior jsut because I want a little bit of a challenge.

*rubs her eyes in exhaustion* Yes well... I believe I'll be off now.

Thank you to Arianne, for brightening my day in fifth, Chrissy, for anchoring me to reality, and my rat Jacque, for always loving me even though I never have time for him anymore. And anyone else out there reading this, thank -you- too.

~Alisa

[Edit: Some things never change.]