It's interesting, isn't it? How one can give so much, be so selfless, and yet... so unappreciated. You do things the exact opposite of how you normally would; you listen instead of talk; you watch them shop for clothes instead of books; you buy them things instead of yourself. And yet... nothing.

At one point in time I thought my heart belonged to someone, and then once I gave it to them... my heart was shattered. It took me what seemed to be forever for it to heal, and even then, just a thin shell of what it used to be. And again, I found someone. I poured myself into them... only to be denied. Now, I realize, love does not exist. It is some fictional idea; lust romanticized. Things like that can't ever exist mutually. Only unrequited, therefore, only in the most painful way possible. Makes me wonder why I can feel my shattered heart aching for more. I keep trying to shut it up, throw it in chains and muffle it's cries, but I keep failing... So I take strength from Toxicity.

"...Father into thy hands, I commend my spirit; Father into thy hands - Why have you forsaken me, in your eyes--Forsaken me, in your thoughts--Forsaken me, in your heart-- Forsaken--Me oh my self-righteous suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die in my self-righteous suicide, I-- Cry-- When angels deserve to... die...."

~Twilight Moon

[Edit: I still love that song... ^.^]